All my life I've been a rather
healthy individual. I have never had health problems outside of the occasional
flu or common cold. I had never been to the hospital aside from visiting
friends and family. I had never been ill for more than a few days; however, it
seemed that my healthy streak would abruptly crash when a new kind of illness
would put me in a headlock. Though excruciating and demobilizing, I was amazed
to see God's hand move through it.
Last Monday, June 10, I awoke around 6 AM with an awful migraine and nausea
whenever I moved. I fell back asleep hoping it would go away in time for me to
work, but to my dismay it did not relent until noon-ish. By then I was left
rather exhausted and resolved to lay in bed. When a fellow intern came into the
room not feeling well and lay herself down, I decided to go work in the kitchen
(roughly 3:30 PM) since the camp at the time was rather large and assistance
was likely needed. This put my head in a spin. Discreetly using the wall for
balance I proceeded to serve food to the campers as each of them passed through
the dinner line. Becoming more and more light headed I watched the clock on the
far wall so that as soon as my shift was over I could go shower, slip into
something cozy and relax for the evening- I had plans to watch a movie with
Melanie. 6:30 finally rolled around so I grabbed some grub for myself,
reluctantly consumed it (my under the weather-ness made it unappealing to eat)
and headed downstairs with Melanie. She set up for a movie while I showered
though once I finished I found myself laboring over my breaths. I resolved to
go to the nurse's office which I found empty so I went upstairs to let someone
know I didn't feel well. Climbing the stairs escalated the pain and breathing
problem to the point of not being able to feel my lips and for my body to
weaken significantly. The conclusion was to call an ambulance. I was put on
oxygen until the medics came which seemed to help none. At some point I briefly
lost consciousness.
Just before I was helped onto the stretcher someone informed me that Aaron
my boyfriend had been contacted and would meet me at the hospital. I was
relieved yet at the same time said a silent prayer that God would give him
strength and prepare him for this visit
for my God is bigger.
Barely coherent I became frustrated with the woman trying to get
information from me in the ambulance. I couldn't understand most of what she
said and could hardly grip the pen when she demanded my signature. I had no
idea what I was signing. I was transferred to a hospital bed in the ER where I
was given fluids and temporarily allowed to rest while the paramedic relayed
information to the doctor whom I only saw throughout the night about three
times.
Aaron showed up covered in paint from working all day- a comfort to see. (I
don't know why but him being dirty still made me smile, though not externally
I'm sure). He sat beside me and ever so gently took my hand in his. It
hurt-everything hurt especially when touched- but I didn't want him to let go.
He remained by my side the entire time while nurses poke and prodded my arms to
draw blood and pump my up with fluids. Pain meds never helped and no infection
of any sort was found in me. I was released despite my continuing pain and
Aaron took me to his parent where he nurtured and comforted me amidst my tears
and discomfort only leaving me to get me something or go to the restroom which
even then was minimal. He slept on the floor beside my bed and re-awoke at my
every movement. He read me devos and comic books, held me as we watched movies,
and stroked me hair every chance he got. He carried me since I could not walk
and prayed over me ever endlessly
because our God is bigger.
He hurried me back to the ER after a couple of days when my pain seemed to
worsen. Still the doctors found nothing wrong with me: I was tested for mono,
strep, flu, other things. Still nothing. Aaron remained beside me as the nurses
came in and out. He told me jokes, relayed text messages and calls from family
and friends, and spoke to the doctor for me. Frustrated and tired I just wanted
to leave. And despite everything I knew I was going to be okay in the long run
because
my God is bigger.
I rested and drank fluids the rest of the week until to my excitement I sat
up and was able to remain sitting up for a while one day and then take my first
steps on my own on Friday night, granted I used the wall for balance. Even
though my strength wasn't returning as quickly as I would've liked I was still
overjoyed to be able to function at all. Whenever I needed to get up, I tried
my best to do things myself because I was determined to go to church on
Sunday....
because my God is bigger.
Sunday I excitedly went to church with Aaron. We first went to Sunday
school then to service. While I was there I was surrounded by people who were
glad to see me and loved on me. I learned that the church had been praying on
my behalf. It was overwhelmingly encouraging. During worship I was prayed for
by a number of people who anointed me
and laid hands on me asking God
for my full recovery because we all believed the same thing:
our God is
bigger.
Refreshed and steadily regaining strength, I returned to camp today to
continue my internship and my health is restored. Though I have concluded that
my illness was a direct spiritual attack, I know I can never fail as long as I
remember one thing:
GOD IS BIGGER
